The Illusion of Success: A Modern Perspective on Happiness and Fulfillment

In the quest for success, we often find ourselves entangled in the belief that achieving our goals will lead to happiness. This narrative is beautifully dissected in Madeline Miller's 'The Song of Achilles,' a retelling of Homer's Iliad, where the characters Achilles and Patroclus discuss the fates of heroes and the elusive nature of happiness.

Patroclus, unable to name a single hero who found lasting happiness, leads Achilles to reveal his ambition to be the first. Yet, as we know from the tale, his pursuit of fame and happiness ends in tragedy. This story serves as a poignant reminder that success, as we often define it, does not guarantee happiness.

The Social Construct of Happiness

Humans are inherently social beings, constantly comparing ourselves to others and aspiring to achieve what we perceive others have. This comparison often leads us to believe that we need certain things to be happy—wealth, fame, or physical perfection. However, this mindset sets us up for disappointment, as it creates an unrealistic expectation that once we achieve a certain goal, all our problems will vanish.

The Perils of Living in the Future

The phrase 'if only' is a dangerous one. It leads us to put our lives on hold, waiting for a future event that may never come. This mindset not only robs us of our present but also often fails to deliver the happiness we anticipate. As one Reddit user poignantly shared about the struggle with weight, 'The fact that you put your whole life on hold, telling yourself that you will resume living when you lose the weight. Then not being consistent with said weight loss journey and basically…never getting to truly live.'

The Pursuit of Happiness: A Flawed Approach

Our pursuit of happiness is often misguided. We believe that once we achieve a certain goal, we will be happy, but this is rarely the case. Even those who have achieved fame and fortune often find themselves struggling with happiness and fulfillment. This is because they have been playing life with the wrong scorecard, believing that external achievements will solve their internal struggles.

Embracing the Present: A Better Path to Fulfillment

Instead of focusing on future goals, we should prioritize the present. By focusing on making today great, with progress and a bit of joy, we can improve not only our current day but also our future. This shift in perspective has been supported by works like Bruce Tift’s 'Already Free' and Jon Kabatt-Zinn’s 'Wherever You Go, There You Are,' which encourage us to find meaning in the present moment.

Conclusion: Living Life on the Right Scorecard

We must recognize that the goalposts are always moving, and reaching our goals will not solve all our problems. The only guarantee is that we are with ourselves, wherever we go. As Mark Manson wisely said, 'Don’t hope for a life with no problems; hope for a life with better problems.' By focusing on self-improvement, sustainable progress, and enjoying the present, we can develop resilience and confidence in dealing with life's challenges.

Let’s focus on what we can do today, and the results will come when they come.

• Steve

Already Free Wherever You Go, There You Are